Sitting Still for a Moment

Writer's Block: Opposites Attract

2009-01-30T02:20:23Z

What celebrity would you consider changing your sexual identity for?

Johnny Depp. Damn.

Obama is a reader. This is a good thing.

2009-01-18T19:29:51Z

Saturday's The Wall Street Journal has a good essay written by Ann Patchett that I recommend. I am quite excited about having a president who reads. Maybe bookstores will come back along with library book circulation (which is already up in my own library system 10% over last year).

Yay!

Happy Birthday Rainer Maria Rilke

2008-12-04T17:31:17Z

From Letters to a Young Poet, Rilke wrote:

"You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now."

Rilke and I were introduced to each other in the winter of 1987 when I desperately needed to read those words. Thank you, Mr. Rilke.

Thanksgiving and Turkeys (and chickens and pigs and...)

2008-11-23T13:37:33Z

willendorf5761 and I have a tradition (are traditions made in three years?) of spending the Saturday before Thanksgiving at Poplar Spring Animal Sanctuary for their annual event, Thanksgiving with the Turkeys. There is something really wonderful about spending a day with a couple hundred people who come together to celebrate the wonder of animals and to eat amazing vegan food together.

Simon is a particularly cuddly chicken who prefers laps to the ground. I held him last year, and this year I noticed that he was purring (in a chicken sort of way) while I was holding him.

Yes, folks, it was cold today. Yesterday I bought long underwear just to make sure I'd be okay. I didn't want to miss this just because it was going to be cold.He fell asleep in willendorf5761 's arms:

You can't see that his eyes are closed in this picture, but they are. He was purring for her, too.

and here he is in all of his regal beauty:

He's a lap chicken! What can I say? Chickens are really wonderful when you get to know them. As are all animals.

Ah... but here come the guests of honor:

They are all rescue turkeys. Three of them were rescued by the Humane Society when they were found outside a restaurant being fattened up for dinner. Fortunately for the turkeys, as we were told today, it's illegal to have live poultry in the city of Washington, D.C. They now live free of fear of being someone's idea of thankfulness, lying dead and cooked on someone's table.

Here they are, having their own feast:

After everyone watched them eat for awhile, we enjoyed an amazing vegan potluck. Afterward, the pumpkins that were placed by each table became dessert for the pigs.

We decided to begin sponsoring one of the pigs. Pigs are amazing. I don't know how people eat them.

A great day.

Out of the mouth of babes

2008-11-06T20:40:40Z

These days it doesn't take much for me to start blubbering. Seeing the pictures of the sea of people who came out to hear Barack Obama's acceptance speech, hearing the excitement in the voices of the people... you name it. The tears will only last a second, but I've noticed that, ever since he won the election, my emotions have been right there on the surface. I think the best part is the kids, so many who have a new hope in their dreams. It really is a new day. I can feel it in the air.

How do YOU spell stress?

2008-11-05T14:01:34Z

I spell it Y-A-R-N S-T-A-S-H.

That's what I do when I'm stressed out. I play with my stash. hehe... that looks funny on the screen. Yes, when I'm stressed out or anxious I start digging through my yarn and reorganizing it. Don't have time to go that far today since I have to get ready to go to work in a few minutes, but (willendorf5761 , you'll be glad to know), I took the ironing board down from where it has been sitting for a few months so I could get TO the stash in the chest of drawers that is used 90% for yarn stash. I've been itching to knit for the past couple of weeks and knowing I can't really think about doing it until the semester is over on Dec. 18th. Thought I'd sneak some in last night as I watched the returns, but I was too busy tabbing back and forth between sites to see who had the latest news.

I wish California would get their damned ballots counted. Until they do, I'm going to have a permanent stomach ache. As of this post, with 92% of the numbers accounted for there, it's 51.9% for it (BAD) and 48.1 against it (GOOD). They're passing everywhere that they're being voted on. It makes me incredibly sad, but I do believe that the last eight years of the Bush-Cheney regime have only egged on the bigots. I want to believe that the election of Barack Obama will send the winds blowing in another direction.

Hope is alive and well unless you're gay

2008-11-05T07:05:20Z

My heart is overflowing with hope and joy now with a bit of fear thrown in.

First the fear: I don't understand why people are so afraid of giving me my right to marry the sweetie of my choice. So far, the bigots are winning Prop 8 in California. I don't know if I'm going to make it to stay up long enough to see the final result of that one.

But in other news, I'm all about the hope, baby.

I believed Barack Obama was going to be elected, but there was something about seeing the numbers rolling in - listening to his acceptance speech and seeing the look of sheer joy on the faces of all of those people - that has reached deep down inside of me and grabbed hold of a place I'd almost forgotten I had. I even cried when everyone recited the Pledge of Allegiance in Grant Stadium. I've never done that before!

When I moved to Maryland in 2002, the country was grieving 9/11. I came from Tucson, AZ, the blue part of a mostly red state to the red part of a blue state (I didn't live in Baltimore until willendorf5761 and I moved in together). Suddenly I felt like I was surrounded by a society I no longer understood. Part of me desperately wanted to go home where it felt safe to speak my truth and I wasn't surrounded by rednecks who never outgrew playing with their army men as kids. They gave sheep a bad name; I heard a lot of regurgitating of words with little thought to what was behind them.

I have felt as if I lived in a country I didn't know ever since GWB was handed the election in 2000. It's been eight years of shaking my head at the insanity of the choices made by that administration. I honestly didn't want to live here any longer if tonight, I would find that it was going to be more of the same. "How could it be," I would tell myself and everyone else I talked to." And then I would remember 2004 and I would remember how stunned I was to find that yes, people really were that gullible. I felt sick. And very afraid.

I don't feel sick anymore. I have seen people get involved in the election process who never cared about it in the past. The pictures of all of the long, long lines of people waiting to vote have been amazing. The lines filled with young people and people who never cared before were what made me sure that Obama was going to win tonight.

Today at the library, I talked to a man who took his 10-year-old son to the Obama rally in Manassas, VA last night. 90,000 people were there. He said that he knew there'd be a lot of people, "maybe 20-25,000," he said. He and others around him never imagined the crowd would be that big. But he wanted his son to be a part of the excitement. He said it was like nothing he'd ever experienced in his life. How cool is that?

Now if Prop 8 will please lose, I'll be on top of the world. Now I feel hopeful.

Taking a little statistics break

2008-09-29T15:18:15Z

I'm home today, working on homework for my statistics class tonight. Of course, I have my e-mail and Google Reader staring me in the face just to make sure I don't get too absorbed in such things as "Sum and Linear Composites of Random Variables." Huh? :-) It's actually not so bad, I just need to be awake in order to do it.

Breaks are important. So take one right now and read this. It will change the way the rest of your day goes, I promise.

L' shanah tovah to all my Jewish friends out there.

I like Sean Penn as an actor ...

2008-09-17T18:08:04Z

and all I can say is I wish everyone would read this piece of his from The Huffington Post.

Wow.

I remember when Tuesday mornings were for being lazy.

2008-09-16T12:22:18Z

Tuesday is my late day at the library, so I'm pretty used to sleeping a little later, screwing around on the computer, knitting for a couple of hours. No more!

I'm learning a whole new meaning to the term "time management." This morning I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed by all of the work I have to do for my classes. That has to take a back seat for the moment, though, because I have a mystery novel to finish reading (Strong Poison, by Dorothy L. Sayers) for the mystery book group that has its first meeting tomorrow. Normally I wouldn't have to read every book the groups (I handle two of them) choose, but since this is a new group, it will probably be small and I'll have to do a lot more facilitating than normal.

I came home from my statistics class last night feeling like I am way behind. Thought I was ahead of the game earlier in the day. :-) I know I'll work it all out. I am having fun, in spite of the craziness.

Back to Lord Peter Wimsey...

People with Disabilities for Obama

2008-09-09T12:41:49Z

If he can achieve even half of what he says he's going to do here, I will be totally amazed. I could find nothing similar coming out of the McCain campaign. Color me shocked.

When I was about 20 years old, I went to an orthopedic doctor about something or other. I'd never seen this guy before, so he asked me a bunch of questions about my life. At the time, I was working part-time in a news library and going to college. The topic of work came up and, though I don't remember the specifics of the conversation, I remember one thing distinctly. He said, "You have spina bifida, which is an automatic pass for disability benefits. Why do you want to work?" My response was, "Why wouldn't I want to work?" Good Lord. The good thing that came out of my conversation with that insultingly ignorant doctor was that it gave me one more reason to push myself harder. There's probably some residue from that experience I still carry with me when I'm making decisions about my life. That's not a bad thing.

That has stuck with me for all of these years. I am on an e-mail list for adults with spina bifida and, over and over, I read stories of people who were never challenged to achieve their dreams or, often, even encouraged to become independent adults. It makes me sad to read about people who would like to work but who are afraid to make money for fear of losing health benefits and other needed services. Obama says he wants to change the way this country treats its citizens with disabilities. Yeah, the word "empower" plucks my nerves, but I'll give him a pass on that one this time.

Read the fact sheet. If you're like me, it might make you work a little harder to make sure Sarah Palin's pretty face doesn't steal this election. I want to believe that the people of this country can see beyond it if given the opportunity. I don't believe it yet, but I want to do so.

I think I might have lost my mind

2008-08-06T13:01:51Z

Well, it's official. This morning I went online and accepted my admission to the University of Baltimore/Towson University MBA program. The last time I was "in school" was nearly 20 years ago. Back then I swore I would never do it again if I couldn't do it full-time while NOT working. What I should have learned from that is not to swear to things like that. hehe.

This feels right, though. It feels as if it's one of the next steps for me to move up in the library profession. No, an MBA isn't required, and there will be people who will ask why in the heck I'm doing it, but there are all sorts of post-MLS certifications and such to give librarians more credentials that basically do the same thing as what I'll be doing with this MBA program, so I might as well go all the way and get the degree. As I have always said, the time will go by, no matter what I do with it. I've already toyed with the idea to do this for too many years.

I finished knitting a shawl last night. After I've blocked it, I'll post a photo of it. I am very happy with the way it turned out! Now I'm feeling fidgity to start a new project though I really should finish up a couple of the smaller ones I have on the needles first. Come Sept. 2 there is going to be little time for knitting.

If there's something you've been itching to do for a long time, go for it. It's not too late.

Guitar playing cat

2008-07-29T14:52:22Z

Ah... it's so nice to have a little time to be home during the day. Benny likes it, too. Both cats do, actually. We hired a real pet sitter during our recent trip to UT. It was a last minute thing but it turned out so well that we'll be using these folks from now on. We were a little worried that they would be showing their dissatisfaction with being left alone for four days by any or all of several known cat misbehaviors. But they were so well cared for that, when we got home, they were glad to see us but not mad. Benny was playing my guitar with his tail in this photo but he didn't know what was making the music happen. He's not a bad guitarist... for a cat.

Enjoying a little down time

2008-07-25T17:16:08Z

We're here in lovely Park City, UT where willendorf5761 is attending a conference and I'm chillin'. Needed chillin' time badly. The resort where we're staying is kind of a weird place. Not the most wheelchair-friendly of places. It's a ski resort. I guess they think people who use wheelchairs won't want to come here. Sheesh. But it's a great place in the summer! Our room is great. There are just lots of steps everywhere once you get outside and most of the places that would otherwise be open and available to make this a little "village" are closed for the summer. Conferences tend to be in these sorts of places because they can be held in a nice place at a rate that is more affordable. Just funny.

Here's what it looks like from the "village" side of our building:

And here's what it looks like from our balcony:

All of those buildings are in the building process. I'm sure it was beautiful on this side before it started to look like condo city.

The weather's great. Cool, sunny, dry. The quivering aspen trees make me happy.

We'll only be here a little bit longer, then I'm taking a week off from work. Yay! Maybe I'll actually do some blogging while I'm home. Recently I figured out that I spend so much time reading other blogs that, by the time I'm ready to write on my own blog, I'm too tired or I don't have any more time. Trying to rectify that, but I dunno. A lot of the blogs I read are work related. I know... write first, then read.

Ah, yes... I remember you

2008-06-30T04:03:30Z

I'd forgotten how much I used to enjoy sewing. A few weeks ago I got it in my head that I had to buy a sewing machine. I'd been borrowing one from a friend for a few years (who doesn't like to sew) and it was bothering me that I still had her machine. Not that she wanted it back, but I wanted to give it to her.

So I went online and found a screamin' deal on a Brother electronic sewing machine. It was probably so cheap because it's last year's model, but who cares? It's soooo much nicer than the one I've been borrowing and much nicer than the one I left behind in Tucson (long story). So now I'm rediscovering my love of sewing. Starting out by hemming several dresses I bought a couple of weeks ago, but I have plans! Oh, yes I do!

In the midst of it all, I'm thinking about going back to school to get an MBA. It's something I've thought about off and on for most of my adult life. There's a good program right down the street. Thinking about going back to school excites me and scares me, mostly for the time commitment. We'll see. Going to an open house next week. Maybe I will have talked myself out of it by then.

In the meantime, you'll probably find me behind the sewing machine when I'm not at work. At least, for awhile.

Now I am a Jew

2008-06-05T03:43:19Z

This morning my conversion to Judaism became real. Words about it all aren't coming yet but I wanted to note it, since it is big. I'm sure I will have more to write in the coming days.

First fruit

2008-06-01T22:07:32Z

Doesn't this look yummy? willendorf5761 and I joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) for the first time this year. It's non-profit, which is different than most CSAs. We got our first little share a couple of weeks ago when the farmers realized there was going to be a LOT of asparagus. We jumped at the chance for extra asparagus. Yesterday I stopped on my way from work to get our first real pickup. We got strawberries, asparagus, garlic stuff that grows out of the top of the garlic, and sage. We're told there will be much more once the crops start going crazy. It didn't seem like much stuff yesterday but it was still exciting!

Sometimes it's good to save stuff

2008-05-20T04:46:33Z

Today, when I got home, I was feeling inspired to play my guitar for the first time in months. I'm thinking about writing a piece to play when I officially become a Jew on June 4th. But that's not going to happen unless I can get my writing groove back. The groove has been gone for several years now. After surgery on my shoulder three years ago, I never really got back into writing and performing, even after my shoulder no longer hurt. Something's rumbling around inside of me, though, so I'm feeling kind of inspired to figure out a way to get it out.

First, I have to get my callouses back on my fingers. The best way to do that is to play. I wanted to play a piece I wrote several years ago but couldn't remember all the words, so I went looking through my notebook for it. It wasn't there. I had a really bad habit of passing along the music when I was going to play something I'd written with Molly, my singing partner in Tucson. Instead of acknowledging that it was nowhere to be found, I went in search of it.

I didn't find the music, but I did find a notebook filled with e-mail correspondence with a friend I made online in 1992 when I was a part of a BBS (bulletin board service, for those who weren't around back then) that was based in New York City. He and I are still good friends today. Before writing this post, I sent him an e-mail that said, basically, "guess what I found!" I didn't keep any of the messages from other people I connected with during that time in my life (and boy! was it a crazy time in my life!) but there was something special about the friendship we struck up.

Reading the messages (which I printed out on a dot-matrix printer) made me think about social networking today. In 1992 I wouldn't have been able to imagine that I would be sitting here blogging now, writing my words so that anyone in the world could read them. I can safely say that the friends I made on that BBS during that time in my life became very important to me. So much so that I even traveled to NYC to meet them. The group that gathered at a restaurant to meet me was so large and loud that we eventually got kicked out of the place. We ended up back at my friend's apartment (whose e-mails I saved) where I was staying that week.

Though the technology, then, seems archaic to us now, it really wasn't that different from what we have now. It's just that what we have now is a lot faster than it was then. And we still have the need to reach out across the miles to those with whom we have interests and philosophies in common. It's no longer "weird" to meet someone we "met" online. (Yes, my friends in Tucson worried for my safety when I traveled to New York. And to Germany. And to San Francisco.)

When did you first start connecting with people you couldn't see face-to-face?

Whoo-hoo!

2008-05-10T03:38:56Z

Folks are finally getting it. Only problem is that a lot of transit systems in the country are going to have trouble keeping up with demand. Especially if the demand continues to increase.

Sometimes I seriously think about getting a library job here in the city even though I LOVE the system I work for currently. There is currently no way for me to take public transportation from here to there. Doesn't go that far. Until I can figure out something else, I'll pay for the higher gas prices because they're making people rethink their dependence upon their cars. I'd love, though, for someone else to do the driving...

Last day in Tucson

2008-05-04T03:51:55Z

Living the Future 7: Transforming Libraries Through Collaboration ended at noon today. I learned a lot of good stuff and met some really cool people. Most everyone was leaving right after the conference, but one of the people I got to know pretty well was staying in town until tomorrow. So while she waited for her car mate to finish having lunch with a Tucson friend, we went wandering. Stopped into a little tiny rock shop that was actually the front of a man's house. The sign said it was open and that it had been since 10 a.m. but at 12:30 or so we were obviously his first customers because he had to turn the lights and the cooler on for us. Both myself and Margaret, my new friend, had to buy something from him. You know how that is. Margaret is a beader. That's how we ended up there.

One of the famous bead shops was having a going-out-of-business sale on 4th Avenue, so we went down there next. Couldn't park very close to the shop because the streets were blocked off for an old car show. The cars were really beautiful. It was fun to have happened upon it. Here's one (and a half) of them:

I had plans to spend a little more time with Molly, my Courage Sister and good buddy but I was too wiped out from the heat to do much of anything tonight and she wasn't feeling well. We had a great time catching up last night, though, so it was okay.

As the sun began to set, I decided to venture out to maybe spend a little time at the Tucson Folk Festival. Only it wasn't where it has always been. I know it was somewhere downtown, but I don't know where. I thought I'd hear the music to point me in the right direction but that didn't happen. Probably just as well. I have to get up early tomorrow morning to catch my plane home.

I'll miss Tucson but I can't wait to be home with my sweetie and out kitties. It feels like I've been gone a long time.

This sunset photo is blurry, but it was the best I could do tonight. It was the tail end of a beautiful one. I really wish I could take these sunsets home with me:

Another day done in Tucson

2008-04-29T05:19:40Z

Today was a wonderful day. After I left the coffeehouse, I did a little grocery shopping then headed over to the best feminist bookstore in the country, Antigone Books. Now that felt like a homecoming. It hadn't changed a bit. I parked in their parking lot facing away from the building and looked across the street to see this (cllck on the photo and you'll see the detail):

Ah yes, I'm back on 4th Avenue. Afterward, I met my friend J at his house where I got to see his two sons who have grown a LOT since the last time I saw them. Then it was off to Lovin' Spoonfuls, where I ate incredible vegan lasagna and garlic bread. I would not have known it was vegan, or even vegetarian, if it hadn't said so on the menu. Had a chance to talk with the owner for a bit when she came to our table to ask us how our food was. She recently had a fundraiser for PCRM and had her picture taken with Dr. Neal Barnard. I wish we had a restaurant like it in Baltimore.

It was still pretty early when J & I finished dinner. It looked like there was going to be a pretty cool sunset tonight, so we headed out to Gates Pass and the Saguaro National Park to watch it slowly drop into darkness. By Tucson sunset standards it was nice, but not the most amazing in the world (sometimes you just can't predict it), but it was way better than anything I've seen in a very long time:

It was nice to be in the desert with my friend, catching up on our lives and listening to the quiet together. By the time we left it was completely dark and the stars were blazing like crazy. Awesome, awesome day.

Ah... the desert

2008-04-28T17:04:45Z

I'm in Tucson for the first time in four years. Sitting in a coffeehouse called Ike's Coffee & Tea. It was called Cuppuccino's when I lived here. Molly and I used to have a monthly gig in this place and I got to know the place very well. Naturally, this was where I wanted to be to get my first hit of joe. Large soy latte and wi-fi. Yep, willendorf5761, I did the soy one and I can't tell the difference! I can drink latte's again!

The desert is beautiful. I started feeling my connection to it the minute I saw the mountains outside the window of the airplane. Funny how that is. And then I met my friend qorinda for lunch at a Mexican restaurant and more conversation under the mesquite trees in a park where she holds her Druid rituals. I appreciate that we can basically pick up where we left off and it is good. Of course, now we know about each others' livejournals, so there won't be so much catching up to do next time.

I thought I might buy the latte and take it outside to write, but guess what? It's too hot! It's only 79 degrees (according to the thermometer on my rental car) but the sun is blazing and I can already feel it seering the skin right off my body. It's good to have that reminder of one of the biggest reasons I left here: the heat. I guess if you like the dry heat, this is a great place to be. But sun stroke is not my friend.

I purposefully didn't make a bunch of arrangements with friends, though I did tell them all when I was coming and we made plans to see each other sometime during my visit. I really wanted time to just be in this place that I called home for 25 years. Some things about it have changed. It's bigger in some places but I'm happily surprised that so many things that I remember are still here. Trader Joe's is a block from my motel and I my car is currently parked in the Wild Oats/Whole Foods parking lot, which will be my next stop after I leave here. The giant used bookstore is still here. I'll be making a trip to Antigone Books later today, most probably. Definitely before I go home.

Almost forgot... here's a PIECE of the mural on the walls of the restaurant where I met qorinda yesterday. I like that the only way you can tell it's painted on a wall is the light switch that's kind of in the middle of the wall.

More later!

Something Is Very Wrong

2008-04-12T05:00:46Z

Kids all across the nation seem to be going crazy. And not in a good way. The Baltimore Sun reported on the beating of an art teacher by one of her students. Today CNN reported that the ten Florida 8th graders who beat up another student were to be tried as adults. Then there were the third graders in Georgia who were planning the attack on their teacher.

What is happening? When I read the story of the attack on the art teacher the other day, the first thing I thought was, "no one in that class cared enough to do anything about it except to get it on video." Since when is myspace.com a news-gathering site? I knew things were bad in Baltimore's city schools, but wow!

We have a flat-screen TV at the information desk of our library. We have one in almost every branch now. It's always tuned to CNN. It's depressing, to say the least. They play the same clips over and over and over. Today's gems were the mug shots of the kids who beat up their classmate. None of them looked old enough or "street-smart" enough to be in the situation they are in.

And those little kids. They had it all planned. They were going to put a sheet on the window so no one could see what they were doing and they were passing out jobs to the other kids in the class. Fortunately, at third grade, not all of the kids were so hardened that they didn't think it was wrong. Someone squealed.

I know this all has been happening in fits and spurts for a long time. It just seems like the anger in kids is coming out more violently and more often right now and it really breaks my heart. Are we that numb, as a society, that we just watch this stuff come over the TV screen and go about our business without even a thought? Please tell me it's not so.

Doin' the iPod Shuffle

2008-04-12T04:10:24Z

The 2G Creative Muvo I received this summer as a prize for finishing my library system's "23 Things" project died the other day. I'd just finished working out at the gym, was ready to get everything out of my locker, and the silly thing wouldn't turn off. I finally had to pull it's battery to get it to stop.

After searching the web for a decently-priced mp3 player that would do what I wanted it to do (connect to audible.com and be easy to use, I decided that it was time to break down and buy an iPod classic. (Excuse me, while I load another CD into iTunes.) I whined. "Apple has a monopoly on the mp3 market!" Ask willendorf5761 She'll tell you. And, of course, as I looked at all of the variations, the one I settled upon cost more than I had dreamed of spending. It's a marketing ploy. I'm feeling manipulated.

And extremely excited about the idea of having my ENTIRE CD collection sitting in that little thing. I set that baby on shuffle yesterday morning and began rediscovering my music collection. Stuff I'd forgotten I had, even though it had been staring me in the face on the CD shelves. I think it's been at least five years since I'd listened to at least one of the cuts I listened to yesterday morning. Today I listened to podcasts I'd been downloading for awhile but just never got around to actually listening to. My ridiculously long commute has suddenly become bearable. Thank God. I was beginning to wonder how long it was going to be before I actually fell asleep at the wheel.

There's the bell. Time to load another CD!

Tonight's fortune cookie says:

2008-03-31T00:40:03Z

... "Executive ability is prominent in your make up."

I hope this means I'm going to get the branch manager job.